Dear Sodapop
by cherryblossom101334
Summary: Sandy sent the letter back unopened. Was there a reason to it? Sandy finally writes a letter to Sodapop, telling the whole truth, going back to where all the trouble began. ***Oneshot***


July 3rd, 1966

Dear Sodapop,

Where do I begin? There's just been so much going on lately, I haven't been able to even look at your letters, I was such an emotional wreck, I just couldn't bear to read your letter, knowing what I had done to you would make you heart break, you would be betrayed, and at the time, I knew that you would do something dangerous if you'd found out earlier. But, sending back your letter isn't helping any at all. I now feel guilty. Guilty for everything I've done in the past month. My life just dropped like a roller coaster, just like that. It's as if I appeared right in Florida, I don't even remember everything. I should tell you at least, to tell you the truth; I can't hold it in anymore. I lost sleep thinking of how you're doing right now. I have to tell you the truth, even if it hurts. I wasn't thinking before I acted, and at the time, I thought I knew what I was doing, but now, I know that my choices had ruined my whole life, and yours as well. But before I tell you, I need a promise from you, even if I can't hear you, please don't do anything dangerous, no matter how broken your heart is from what I'm about to tell you. Don't do anything dangerous, I don't want to hurt your whole family wither, knowing that Darry and Ponyboy are very affected by your actions. So, to keep you from wondering, I shall go on with this letter.

It was the day when you forgot to pick me up at my house. We were going to see a movie. A double sate with Evie and Steve. You were supposed to pick me up at 6:00. When the clock turned to 6:15, I figured you were running late because of work or something else that might've came up with Darry. I waited a little bit longer. It was finally 6:30, I was already having my doubts about you coming, but I still held on. 6:45, my phone rang. Evie was on the drive-in payphone, she said that our movie was about to start, she wondered where we were. I told her that you should be coming soon. 7:00, I lost all hope that you were coming. I was upset, I even felt like crying, but I didn't, but I was heart broken that you had forgot about our date. I called up your house, Ponyboy answered. He said that you went to the bull races with Dally. You ditched me for Dally Soda, you never forget our dares, you just plain ditched me. At that point, I was done with the night, until Kathy called me up. She told me that her and Two-bit were at Buck's and they asked if I would like to join, I wasn't planning on doing anything Sodapop, I swear, I was planning on chatting with Kathy and having a virgin margarita, the drink that you and I used to share when we went to that fancy restaurant on the other side of town, I can't remember the name, but I remember our times there and the fun we had.

I was at Buck's. There was a big party going on. We had a lot of fun. I danced on the floor, but only with Kathy as a friend, I would never dance with another guy that isn't you. Eventually, Kathy asked if I wanted a drink. I told her no, I was planning on driving home later on, I didn't want to get in an accident. Eventually, I was parched. I needed a drink. I remembered what you did to me earlier after Dally and Sylvia came in and told me how good you were at bull racing. Throughout the whole night, I forgot about what you did. They reminded me, and I got so mad knowing that you ditched me to go bull riding. So I ordered a beer. After that, another, and then another after that. I can't remember how many I drank. The only thing I remembered was seeing my ex boyfriend, I remember him being drunk too. But, at the time, I remembered how good looking he was. Then, I only remember waking up in a bed that wasn't mine. You probably know the rest from there.

I was furious at myself. I can't believe I let it happen. I was upset at myself, yes, I was drunk as I'll ever be, but I could've controlled myself. That's why for the past weeks I was ignoring you, because I was so ashamed at what I'd done. I cheated on you Sodapop, I admit to it. I was too afraid to talk to you. I knew what your reaction would be, I didn't want to see your face when I told you. I wouldn't even be able to tell you.

I started to feel horrible as the weeks went by. In the morning, I would throw up every morning. My parents took me to the doctor. He told me that I was pregnant. Yes Sodapop, I'm pregnant, and it's with my ex boyfriends child. I never talked to you after that. My parents were angry. They sent me straight to my Grandmothers here in Florida. I told them what you had told me, that you would marry me, they told me I was too young to get married. After I told them whose child it was, they were devastated. It wasn't even with their daughter's boyfriend. Sodapop, they're not mad at you, they're mad at me, mad that their daughter would cheat on their boyfriend, get drunk, and become pregnant with another's child.

I couldn't bear to tell you the truth after that. I didn't even have a chance to say good-bye to you. My last words to you were, see you then. I wanted to say good-bye to you at least, my parents said that they didn't want me to bring you down, especially now after your own parents are gone. I was crying the whole ride there. They booked me a flight to my Grandma Louise's house, where I would be staying. My parents don't like where we live, they want my baby to be born in a safe environment, where there won't be rumbles, killings, and most of all gangs. They want my baby to grow up in a normal lifestyle, they hope for me to get married after the baby's born.

Sodapop, after my baby is born, I want to get married to you. You'll probably be with someone else by then, any girl is lucky to have you, they would be more loyal than I was. But Sodapop, I want our baby to live in Tulsa, I'll get a job, we can live in the middle class area, where it's safe there, and raise our child, maybe even have another child. We can have a normal family. I want my child to be raised in a normal life, safe, I am going to be a great mother, and if faith lets us get married, then you will be a great father.

Sodapop, I am so sorry for the emotional battle I am giving you. I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. I care more about your emotions right now than my and I mean it. I love you, Ponyboy, and Darry too. The gang as well, even if Two-bit was too immature, and even if Daly was too much of a hood. You guys are my second family, and I had wished that I had appreciated it, I wish I was lucky for what I had.

When this child is born, the girl's name will be Margret Anne, named after your beautiful mother who had always treated me like her daughter, the woman who I had helped in the kitchen while the boy's were out playing football, and most of all the woman who had a big heart, the one who gave to charities, helped lost children find their mother's, and the woman who raised three sons who are such gentlemen. Her death broke my heart as much as yours, she was a good woman.

The boy's name will be Patrick Michael. Patrick for you middle name, and Michael for your grandfather's name who you said had a bigger heart than your mother's, if that is even possible.

Sodapop Curtis, I hope that someday we will be together, because Sodapop, I really love you ,and I'll never stop loving you.

Love,

Sandra Marie Jacobs


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